5 tips to get the family to help around the house!

February 1, 2022

5 tips to get the family to help around the house!

Why am I the only one that cleans up after themselves?I bet that if you are reading this, at some point you have asked yourself that question. Do you feel like you are fighting a battle when it comes to getting your family on-board with organization? Or maybe you get spirts of commitment but they are all to short lived. Maybe your spouse or partner is is the biggest challenge?

YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

As a wife of almost 25 years that works full-time and has 2 “almost out of the nest” kids, I have tried LOTS of different tricks and tools over the years to keeping our house straight and clean (notice I did not write perfect or sanitized…). What I have found is that if you follow these 5 tips, give yourself and your family a little grace, then YOU can get more help from your family around the house!

#1: Be honest
Before you lay down the law of how everyone “must start helping more!” I suggest you take a different approach. Gather the family for either a family meeting or just in casual conversation at the dinner table. Be honest with them and speak on their level. “I need your help.” Say these words, don’t scream them. Look at them in the eye when you say it. I know using this tone and these words will get their attention. You see, we don’t realize it, but our families see us as super-beings. We can do it all. It literally never even crosses their mind that you are struggling unless you tell them. It is important as a parent to show honesty and vulnerability. This tells our kids its ok not to be perfect and it’s ok to say, “I need help.”

The next words are important. “We are ALL responsible for taking care of our home.” When you don’t do your part, it is more on me. When NO one does their part, it is ALL on me and I cannot keep doing everything.

Now, I’ll stop here to say, if your spouse/partner is the main culprit, then have this heart-to-heart discussion with them first. Once they are on board and supportive, you both talk with the family. Show a united front so the kids know they can’t parent shop their way out of doing their part.

#2: Make it easy
We may think every member of our family is brilliant and can figure out any problem, right? Well, it’s amazing to me how these brilliant minds become completely helpless when given a task if the steps aren’t clear. “Well, you didn’t tell me I had to actually use window cleaner on the bathroom mirror, you just told me to clean the mirrors” (and they used the dirty towel that just wiped down their countertop! Urgh!)

For their sake and yours, make it easy.

Everything has a place. If child of any age knows where the toys go back, it’s easy to do that task. If there is no organization or assigned place for things, then there is confusion. Now, don’t panic if you’re house isn’t setup with all the great cubbies, baskets, and bins online. Keep it simple.

Example: Clothes are put in drawers or in the closet. They do NOT stay in the basket once they are laundered.

Laundry baskets are also great to corral toys; and it’s easy for a kid to put away toys in a large basket! It doesn’t matter where things go as long as they have a designated spot.

Don’t overcomplicate. Creating a checklist of 50 tasks is overwhelming for anyone. Think of a few tasks to be done that give you the most “bang for the buck”. Break tasks up in blocks of time during the day: Before School, After School and Before Bed. You can download checklist below to help you get started!

Teach them how. Again, don’t assume everyone just knows how to do things. Take the time to train them. Show them how, have them do it and then correct as needed.

#3: Make it fun!
You know your family. What will inspire them to help?

- Do they have a favorite color or character? Then try some colorful baskets or boxes with favorite character. Personalizing containers makes items easier to identify to put away, but also gives a sense of ownership for the child. Their things really feel like their own and will inspire them to take care of their things.

- Maybe your kids are competitive. Then set a timer and play a game like “beat the clock”. Can you clean up toys before the timer goes off?

- For family Contest, “who can clean up fastest?” I can’t tell you the number of times I used this one!

- For the music lover, play fun music or sing while you’re cleaning up. Sounds silly, but the music will distract their minds and they’ll be cleaning and not realize it!

#4: Make it rewarding
Create a system of rewarding each person for good behavior. It doesn’t have to be money, but it can be. A reward system is key to keeping the family motivated and on track to help around the house. Please don’t overcomplicate this system (which I have done).

- Smaller children need instant gratification, so cleaning up means they can watch a favorite show together?

- Older children may want to start earning money, so keep record of chores completes for a certain amount a day or week (depends on age and task), then at end of week you receive prize, or money for doing their part.

#5: Make it a habit
There is no end to ‘helping around the house’. It is a constant need, a continous cycle. As you setup your chores and checklists for family, sort them into repeatable tasks that need to be done daily (like the checklist above), Weekly or Monthly tasks.

As the habits form over a few weeks, you can adjust the prizes for the reward system for completing tasks without being told!